


Roll With It

by ThayerKerbasy



Series: Team No Chill [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Compliant, Episode: s13e17 The Thing, Gen, Theft, yes both of those tags are accurate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 05:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16033625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThayerKerbasy/pseuds/ThayerKerbasy
Summary: He's upper, upper class high societyChuck's gift to Instagram notorietyNow we always have some ball roomThe back seat is never smallAll the social media says we've got the biggest balls of allI've got tape ballsI've got tape ballsThey're such bright ballsAnd they're dirty tape ballsAnd he's got tape ballsAnd she's got tape balls(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)





	Roll With It

**Author's Note:**

> A nod of thanks to grey2510 for helping me come up with the delightful summary for this.

Waiting for Sam to rescue Dean from the tentacle monster feels like an eternity, made worse by the fact that Coleman can’t help. He and Baby had been forced to watch while the thing they’d been protecting made off with Dean.

_It’s gonna be okay, guys,_ says Mac from underneath the front passenger seat. _Sam figured things out quickly and now he’s gonna go save Dean. Freaking out about it won’t help anyone._

Baby’s engine is off, but she still somehow manages to growl, _Easy for you to say. Bet you’d be losing it if Sam was the one taken._

_Ease up, Baby,_ says Coleman, in an attempt to be the voice of reason. _He’s right. Worrying won’t help anyone, and neither will snapping at each other._

_You say that like you weren’t just freaking out a moment ago._

_What? I wasn’t—_

_Whoa,_ says a new voice, _what the hell?_

Though there was nothing else there a moment before, a brightly striped ball (a bit bigger than a cantaloupe) now sits on the seat beside Coleman. There aren’t many balls Coleman appreciates having snuggled up against his side, and balls he’s never met definitely don’t make the list.

_Be honest, Coleman. You’ve thought about plenty of balls._ Despite having no discernable face, she somehow manages to pull off a smirk.

_Shut up, Baby!_

_Shut up, the both of you,_ says the stranger. _Someone needs to tell me how the hell I got here._

With a totally theoretical sigh, Coleman puts Baby’s teasing out of mind to focus on the problem at handle. _We were going to ask you the same thing. So, I guess, where were you before you showed up here?_

_And, y’know, who are you?_ Baby chimes in.

_The name’s Mark, but everyone calls me Tapeball. You don’t know me? I’m kinda famous on Instagram._

Mac perks up at that. _Yeah? What’s your screen name?_

_Save it for later, boys,_ says Baby. _Focus. Where were you?_

_I was on site. We were filming episode twenty-two out at Panther Paintball forest in Surrey, and I was waiting for the scene to end so I could gather up the tape they use so the actors know where to stand. I was pretty stoked, ‘cause Misha said he was gonna get a pic with me and a bunch of the actors this time. I’m not even kidding, you guys should check out my Instagram later. It’s spntapeball, I swear I’ve got the best job ever._

Coleman wishes he had a head so he could do a double take. _You work on a TV show?_

_Yeah,_ says Mark, _I’m part of the crew of_ Supernatural.

The name sounds oddly familiar, but before Coleman can figure out where he heard it before, Mac says, _There’s no Instagram account by that name._

_WHAT?!_ Mark, clearly shocked, nearly rolls off the seat.

_Wait,_ Supernatural _like the books Chuck wrote?_

_Dammit Baby, I was just about to say that!_ Coleman grumbles, even though he wasn’t sure of it until Baby said it. That thought leads to another, though. _Hey, didn’t the guys go to another universe once, where_ Supernatural _was a TV show?_

_That was also in the books,_ Mac adds helpfully. _“The French Mistake” was the name of that one, though it was only ever published online._ He pauses a moment before adding, _Pretty sure Misha died in that universe._

The words appear to jar Mark from his state of shock _. I’m not even in my own universe? I guess that means my Instagram account is okay._

_Priorities, Mark!_ Coleman wishes he could grab the ball of tape and shake him. _You’re in a different universe! If we’ve learned anything from watching Sam and Dean, it’s that traveling to another universe on purpose is really fucking hard. Do you have any idea how you’re gonna get back home?_

_Hey, language! You can’t use that word on national— oh, right. Yeah, never mind, I guess you can._

_You’re fuckin’ right we can,_ says Baby, reminding Coleman exactly why he likes her so much. And because the universe has decided he’s not allowed a single private thought, she follows that up with, _Right back atcha, Coleman._

Showing just how easy it is to forget about Mac, he surprises everyone by piping up again, _Coleman has a good point, though. If you’re going to get back home, it’s not going to be easy. That sort of thing usually requires archangel level mojo._

_So you’re saying I’m stuck here?_ Mark rolls around a bit on the seat, which Coleman can only assume is the tapeball equivalent of pacing. _Maybe that’s for the best. I know I just met you guys, but you seem trustworthy. Truth is, I’ve been working on stealing something from the set for ages, playing the long game, but I hadn’t quite worked out a clean getaway. I was just trying to figure out how to approach Misha, to see if I could enlist his aid, when_ poof _. I showed up here._

Baby and Mac apparently have nothing to say to that besides vague surprised noises, but Coleman can’t help but ask, _So what was it? What were you gonna take?_

Mark chuckles. _“Gonna” take? Try again. I had it on me when I got zapped here. If I can find the right buyer, I’ll make a fortune, and if you guys help me out, I’ll cut you in for a piece of the pie._

_Count us in._ Coleman doesn’t even hesitate.

_Now wait a minute,_ says Baby at the same time as Mac says, _Wait, what’s going on? I was Searching the Web._

_Good,_ says Mark. _I was a little worried about that, but I don’t mind sticking around here if I have people I can trust and enough cash to be comfortable._

Baby persists, _No really, wait a minute. If you brought it with you, where is it? All I see is you, unless you mean all that tape, in which case, I’ve got some bad news for you about the market value of pre-used tape._

Mark sort of vibrates on the spot, laughing. _Nah, not the tape. It’s inside me. Underneath all these layers of tape is an incredibly rare artifact the likes of which I doubt you’ve ever seen._

_Oooh, I wanna see!_ Mac says. _Just gimme an hour or two so I can wiggle through to the back seat. Maybe if Baby turns up the bass, I could vibrate back there faster._

Coleman can’t resist. _Yeah, I dunno, Mac. Getting the thing out sounds like a pretty sticky problem._

_Ugh, Coleman, that was_ terrible!

_Don’t pretend you don’t love it, Baby._

_I’ll work out how to get at it later,_ says Mark. _But for now, how long do you think it’ll be before your humans get back? I’d rather not stay here for too long, just in case someone manages to come looking for me._

Doing his best to convey a shrug without shoulders, Coleman replies, _I dunno. They’ve been gone awhile, but in fairness, Dean got kidnapped by a tentacle monster who wants to do the nasty with him and Sam’s gone to rescue him. That whole hero business is sorta chancey, time-wise. I’d know, ‘cause I helped kill a hellhound once._

_Still disappointed I missed that,_ says Mac, slightly muffled under the seat.

Mark jiggles on the spot a bit. _In that case, got somewhere I can hide?_

_Uh, maybe under the seat with Mac,_ says Coleman, _or if you can jump, I could see about opening my lid. You couldn’t possibly taste any worse than a severed ghoulpire head._

Mark’s rolling takes a distinctly backwards turn. _Yeah, I don’t think that’s such a—_

His sentence is abruptly cut off as he disappears in the blink of a non-existent eye. Just like that, there’s no sign a ball of tape was ever there.

_Uh, guys?_ says Mac. _What’s going on? Why’d Mark stop talking?_

Coleman is stunned silent, so it’s a good thing Baby answers. _He’s gone. What the actual fuck? I didn’t imagine that, did I? He was here, right?_

_I don’t know, Baby, but I heard him same as you, so if you imagined him, so did I, and I don’t think I have that kind of imagination. The things I searched for him are still in my search history._

_He was real,_ says Coleman, still dazed, but needing to say something. _I felt him, and I hope he made it back safely, but dammit! We were almost rich!_

They’re interrupted by Sam and Dean’s return, the latter looking none the worse for his capture. Though Coleman (and undoubtedly Baby and Mac) feel rattled about Mark’s abrupt departure, it’s reassuring to have their people back.

Dean turns the key in the ignition and Baby’s engine roars to life. _Alright fellas, as Mark might’ve said, let’s roll._

_Baaaabyyyy,_ Coleman groans. _Why do you get to make bad puns and not me?_

Baby didn’t answer, but her gloating was a tangible thing the entire way home.

**Author's Note:**

> It's Coldest Hits time again! It's been a few months since I've been able to take time away from my longer projects to write for Coldest Hits, so I was especially glad that this month's theme inspired me. The theme for this month is [Heist](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/178217368993/spncoldesthits-heist-september-prompt-posting), which I think I managed... mostly.
> 
> At any rate, there's some delightful fics this month, and I highly encourage you to [go read them](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SPNColdestHits), because who doesn't love a good heist?
> 
> And if you want to see the things that distract me from writing, you can follow me on Tumblr as [thayerkerbasy](https://thayerkerbasy.tumblr.com/)


End file.
